What a Difference a Few Weeks Makes!!!!

When I first found out that I had failed final placement - the worst nightmare of any student - I was keen as to repeat as soon as possible - crying all the while! Then I got good and mad and felt that my career choice was really misguided and that I should be happy with my part time bar job and my part time teaching job at Science Alive....I in fact, hated everything about classrooms, kids, planning - you name it, i hated it!! So! I gathered all the stuff from college - books, assignments, study guides, resources etc and threw the whole lot in the recycling bin! Yes! This is a true story.....

However, lucky for me, recycling wasn't getting collected anytime soon much to my dismay because I wanted no memory left of what I had done!!!! Lucky for me because I woke up one morning knowing that teaching is my career of choice and I sure as hell was not going to let a shit five weeks ruin what had been a brilliant (read stressful, horrible, overworked under-informed) year of great experiences at college and on placements. So, guess what I did???????? Yup, I rescued all my stuff from said bin and put it all back in the study in cool boxes and files!!!! Then I contacted college and enrolled to repeat my final placement! Such a good day, I cannot tell you.

The experience of failing has been a blessing (I want to hear from all those who have also failed and gone on to greatness) because it is giving me time to process all the stuff I have learnt over the last year as well as reminding me that the hard work of it is good practice for later when I have my own classroom. Having said that, my mates who have such a thing are no longer tweeting, facebooking or emailing due to being busy beyond imagination with their own classrooms!!!!!

I realised that even if Ihad passed the placement, there was no way that I would have felt confident even relieving let alone being put in charge of my own class.....I just was not there yet and you know what?? That is totally ok! I know that I am not ready for sure, to take on intermediate level and that my strengths are only emerging in terms of the curriculum! So! How can I possibly look at the placement failure as a really, true failure of me as a teacher? I just can't and won't.

I have also discovered that sometimes you will come across associates who are very insecure in their own teaching ability and so make it difficult for a student to succeed! My comment to schools is 'make sure your AT's are skilled, confident and willing to commit to the success of their students'. For sure, I was not the perfect student in terms of planning etc but I put so much of myself into that placement and can at least know that I tried as hard as I could - just a bad mix. However, the kids were just awesome (save two who were just diabolical!) and I was lucky enough to run into one the other week who said "Ms S, you were cool!'. Made my year!

I am excited about my next experience....BRING IT ON!q