When I first found out that I had failed final placement - the worst nightmare of any student - I was keen as to repeat as soon as possible - crying all the while! Then I got good and mad and felt that my career choice was really misguided and that I should be happy with my part time bar job and my part time teaching job at Science Alive....I in fact, hated everything about classrooms, kids, planning - you name it, i hated it!! So! I gathered all the stuff from college - books, assignments, study guides, resources etc and threw the whole lot in the recycling bin! Yes! This is a true story.....
However, lucky for me, recycling wasn't getting collected anytime soon much to my dismay because I wanted no memory left of what I had done!!!! Lucky for me because I woke up one morning knowing that teaching is my career of choice and I sure as hell was not going to let a shit five weeks ruin what had been a brilliant (read stressful, horrible, overworked under-informed) year of great experiences at college and on placements. So, guess what I did???????? Yup, I rescued all my stuff from said bin and put it all back in the study in cool boxes and files!!!! Then I contacted college and enrolled to repeat my final placement! Such a good day, I cannot tell you.
The experience of failing has been a blessing (I want to hear from all those who have also failed and gone on to greatness) because it is giving me time to process all the stuff I have learnt over the last year as well as reminding me that the hard work of it is good practice for later when I have my own classroom. Having said that, my mates who have such a thing are no longer tweeting, facebooking or emailing due to being busy beyond imagination with their own classrooms!!!!!
I realised that even if Ihad passed the placement, there was no way that I would have felt confident even relieving let alone being put in charge of my own class.....I just was not there yet and you know what?? That is totally ok! I know that I am not ready for sure, to take on intermediate level and that my strengths are only emerging in terms of the curriculum! So! How can I possibly look at the placement failure as a really, true failure of me as a teacher? I just can't and won't.
I have also discovered that sometimes you will come across associates who are very insecure in their own teaching ability and so make it difficult for a student to succeed! My comment to schools is 'make sure your AT's are skilled, confident and willing to commit to the success of their students'. For sure, I was not the perfect student in terms of planning etc but I put so much of myself into that placement and can at least know that I tried as hard as I could - just a bad mix. However, the kids were just awesome (save two who were just diabolical!) and I was lucky enough to run into one the other week who said "Ms S, you were cool!'. Made my year!
I am excited about my next experience....BRING IT ON!q
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Hi there- I am only in my third year of teaching and Tcoll was tough! Not only that-once you hit the class it's a totally different ballgame! I shifted up from Dunedin to South Auckland and really let myself get hammered! But I love it too! I am even just starting up a new website for teachers as it can be so hard to get relevant information www.teacherslounge.co.nz it would be great if you could come on and share your views! You write well and are very relevant to how so many beginning teachers are feeling-hoping things are better! :)
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